As we waited Lily remained very confident. It was exciting to see her confidence return after being so completely rocked by the recent rejection she experienced with the school play auditions.
As a parent you have many difficult tasks, one of the biggest being the intricate balance between breathing life and confidence into your children's dreams counterbalanced by aiding them in embracing realistic expectations and goals. It is just a complicated place to be, knowing that if your child is overconfident they run the risk of being severely disappointed more often than not. So it seems wise to encourage a more level headed approach. As much as I wanted to balance her confidence with reality I didn't. I chose to remain just as hopeful and confident. She needed me to this time. Plus I actually believed her essay had a chance.
As I logged on to the Scholastic site today I was literally holding my breath. The results were in and Lily's name was nowhere to be found. Oh that sinking feeling in the gut! I was so sad for my Lily Girl! Immediately I was reminded about an email I had received this morning from a dear friend. It was meant to encourage me personally with by back issues. However, God had a wider work to do, reaching out to include my baby girl and the news she would receive today. Perspective on the disappointments, trials and pains of life that are never meant to be circumvented or avoided.
Made Perfect Through Suffering -Streams in the Desert
For I consider that our present sufferings cannot even be compared to the glory that will be revealed to us.—Rom 8:18 NET
I kept for nearly a year the flask-shaped cocoon of an emperor moth. It is very peculiar in its construction. A narrow opening is left in the neck of the flask, through which the perfect insect forces its way, so that a forsaken cocoon is as entire as one still tenanted, no rupture of the interlacing fibers having taken place. The great disproportion between the means of egress and the size of the imprisoned insect makes one wonder how the exit is ever accomplished at all—and it never is without great labor and difficulty. It is supposed that the pressure to which the moth’s body is subjected in passing through such a narrow opening is a provision of nature for forcing the juices into the vessels of the wings, these being less developed at the period of emerging from the chrysalis than they are in other insects.
I happened to witness the first efforts of my prisoned moth to escape from its long confinement. During a whole forenoon, from time to time, I watched it patiently striving and struggling to get out. It never seemed able to get beyond a certain point, and at last my patience was exhausted. Very probably the confining fibers were drier and less elastic than if the cocoon had been left all winter on its native heather, as nature meant it to be. At all events I thought I was wiser and more compassionate than its Maker, and I resolved to give it a helping hand. With the point of my scissors I snipped the confining threads to make the exit just a very little easier, and lo! immediately, and with perfect case, out crawled my moth dragging a huge swollen body and little shrivelled wings. In vain I watched to see that marvelous process of expansion in which these silently and swiftly develop before one’s eyes; and as I traced the exquisite spots and markings of divers colors which were all there in miniature, I longed to see these assume their due proportions and the creature to appear in all its perfect beauty, as it is, in truth, one of the loveliest of its kind. But I looked in vain. My false tenderness had proved its ruin. It never was anything but a stunted abortion, crawling painfully through that brief life which it should have spent flying through the air on rainbow wings. I have thought of it often, often, when watching with pitiful eyes those who were struggling with sorrow, suffering, and distress; and I would fain cut short the discipline and give deliverance. Short-sighted man! How know I that one of these pangs or groans could be spared? The far-sighted, perfect love that seeks the perfection of its object does not weakly shrink from present, transient suffering. Our Father’s love is too true to be weak. Because He loves His children, He chastises them that they may be partakers of His holiness. With this glorious end in view, He spares not for their crying. Made perfect through sufferings, as the Elder Brother was, the sons of God are trained up to obedience and brought to glory through much tribulation.
You see it is not my job to "snip the confining threads" to make my children's life a little easier. Lily has much to learn through these disappointments and trials. Just as I do! If I shelter her or make the way easier for her somehow she will never grow into the strong, beautiful person she is destined to be. My primary responsibility to my children when they are faced with trials is to pray for them and point them in the direction of the only one who can heal their body, mind and spirit.
As I re-read my Lily's essay, God in His infinite Grace reminds me that she is doing just fine, as am I, as her mamma. Lily is an amazingly gifted, strong and confident girl and He has great plans for her life. So, I decide it's time to... "shake this one off:)"
Please enjoy Lily's Essay below...
This is how I "Shake it Off"
By: Lily Nellist, age 10
All of my life, life has been like carrying a backpack. In Kindergarten, like everybody, I got a flashy, new, backpack of my own. In this bag I could carry all of my thoughts and feelings. At this time, my “backpack” was light with joy and fun. I had friends. I had an amazing teacher, and nothing seemed to go wrong.
First Grade wasn’t much different. I played with my friends and I was a good student. I was so care-free and excited. When my parents told me that in second grade I would have to move schools I barely thought about the negative things. Getting a new house and going to a new school seemed so exciting.
Second Grade however, was in my eyes, the worst elementary school grade for me. You know why? I got my first taste of reality…and bullies. This was no “she stole my juicy box” or “he broke my crayon,”… this was real.
The first day at my new school was fine. I came home same as I always had; happy. Then came the first day of P.E. and with it came insults and a ton of bricks added to my once light “backpack”. This kept happening to me, and with each insult and rejection my “backpack” started to get steadily heavier.
In Third Grade, I barely had any friends. I began to hate school. It seemed as though the mean kids were out to get me. I came home almost everyday crying.
Fourth Grade started out with another girl bullying me. One day after school I finally collapsed under all of the weight of fear, sadness and anger. My Mom and Aunt met with me and gave me advice. My Aunt said that the heaviness of my “backpack” represented all my bad feelings. They said the weight was keeping me from seeing all that was good in my life. We prayed and my “backpack” was once again as light as a feather.
These ups and downs in my life have taught me to talk about my feelings and to make the most of my life. I believe the best way to “Shake things off” is to keep your “backpack” light by talking about your feelings and always looking for the “silver lining”.
I discovered a lot about myself in these events. I learned, number one… always follow “The Golden Rule” even when you are being treated poorly. Number two, I learned, life’s not fair and people will disappoint you. Finally, I learned that if you are true to yourself and others, there is nothing you cannot do. I’m Lily Nellist and this is how I “shake things off!”
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